Interlude: Musings of the Fellowship, Part II.

I find a dark corner of the antechamber, and carefully take out Kant from my pocket.

DT: How are you faring Kant?
K: As well as one could expect from someone stuffed into your smelly pocket.
DT: Grumpy, eh?
K: ...
DT: I am sorry that I have kept you there, but it is not safe for you here. I am not at all sure if your transcendental reflection holds any power in this place. But as Wittgenstein has managed to survive here for so long, I thought it would be safe to let you out for a while.
K: Very considerate of you.
DT: Well, what do you think of this place? What does Heideggerian philosophy sound like to you?
K: Actually, I think - which by the way is something that should always be able to accompany all of the sensible manifold of intuitions in order for me to recognize these experiences as my own, which in turn is then necessary for...
DT: Yes, the Principle of Transcendental Unity of Apperception. You are drifting Kant.
K: Sorry. You know me.
DT: I believe we all know you and your ability to start sentences far better than to finish them.
K: Grmph. Well, as I was saying, I think that Heidegger is actually a rather Kantian philosopher in many ways - stop giggling, it sounds better than saying that he is a me-like philosopher. His method is that of transcendental philosophy. He takes experience as granted and purports to show through careful transcendental analysis of these experiences what their necessary conditions are. His Dasein is in accordance with my division between transcendentality and empiricality. Dasein is something that is always within the world, and that bears a relation to the world as partly its constituter.
DT: I agree. His methods are those of a transcendental philosopher. But surely he has differences too?
K: Most definately. For one, he seems to be far more realistic than I would dare to be. Sure, I postulated the Ding an sich, but that is of course something that is beyond our cognition's reach. Heidegger too assumes the world behind the interpretations of Dasein, but he seems to also assume that we can through careful analysis say something of the world itself. The other possibility is that he actually drops the whole notion of Ding an sich and restricts himself to the phenomenal world, and that Dasein is in fact something that bears a relation to this phenomenal world. But this would of course leave the questions concerning how this phenomenal world comes to be totally unanswered.
DT: He also seems to have a different view on temporality than you do.
K: Yes. It is more fundamental to him. To me time is just one of the forms of sensibility, necessary condition for any possible object of experience to be represented in a manifold of sensible intuition within our cognition.
DT: You are saying that all intuitions or perceptions are always in space and in time, yes?
K: Sure. That's what I said, didn't I?
DT: Uhh, well, sort of.
K: Anyway, even though I do recognize the time's importance in self-consciousness and in experience in general, I have not reduced the mode of being for subjects to temporality as clearly as Heidegger is doing.
DT: Heidegger thought that you were simply too fixated in Cartesian concepts.
K: Bah, what does he know.
DT: I think he has a point.
K: Et tu, Dasein-Toni? I am hurt.
DT: Stop being a jerk, Kant.
K: But... but... I am not a Cartesian philosopher!
DT: I am not saying that you are - I recognize your philosophy for what it is, non-Cartesian critical philosophy. I am just saying that you too were blinded by the way Descartes set his questions. You were still working within the problems Descartes saw as important, to the extent that you didn't question some of your basic premises or concepts sufficiently enough. One of those is Being, as expressed by Heidegger. You spoke of subjectivity and Categories and understandability and all those things without ever stopping to ask what it is for these to be.
K: Fair enough.
DT: You also didn't have a more general temporal aspect to your philosophy, did you?
K: What do you mean?
DT: Well, to you subjects were in a sense stationary in time. Understanding, sensibility and reason as faculties of cognition were perhaps not objects, but they lacked a temporal dimension as well.
K: But time is just a form of sensibility!
DT: Is it indeed? Wouldn't you then agree that understanding must work outside time?
K: I guess.
DT: But what is activity of understanding, if it doesn't happen in time?
K: Well... Uhh... Look now, I died two hundred years ago, so wouldn't you think I deserve a break?
DT: Of course you do. Your work in philosophy has been prolific, to say the least, but it was not conclusive. Temporality was still something to you that it shouldn't have been, and so it evolved in later philosophy especially through Hegel. Heidegger is also someone who is deeply influenced by a historical approach to philosophy. Both of the aspects Heidegger is examining here, Being and Time, seem to me to rise from transcendental reflection and in that he is following your footsteps, but they are also some things that you never took into account well enough.
K: I can do nothing, but agree.
DT: That's a good boy! What about the decorations her...

My idle chatter is suddenly interrupted by a flash of light and a smell of sulphur that follows it. I find myself staring mouth open at a floating ass (yes, the animal, of course...).

TA: Good day to you, Sir Dasein-Toni! I am Tobi-Ass of the Secret Order of Dialectical Necromancers. I have been watching you and marked your progress. I am sympathetic to your cause and wish to offer you my skills.
DT: Dear God! Why is it that you look like an ass?
TA: Uhh...? Oh, yes! It is just the form I take in the bit-universe.
DT: Bit... universe?
TA: Yes. We of the Secret Order of Dialectical Necromancers have for the longest time known that we all exist solely within a network of computers that they call the Internet.
DT: Computers? What are you talking about?
TA: Perhaps it is best that I will not confuse you with my occult lore.
DT: Okay, whatever. So, Tobi-Ass, what are your skills?
TA: As one might guess, I am proficient in the arcane magic of Dialectical Necromancy, and I am a devout follower of Hegel. I am able to help you in many ways throughout your journey in this dark place. I too have a bone to pick with Heidegger, and would happily travel with you into the depths of his realm, to find out the truth about Being and Time.
DT: That's all fine and well, but what I really wanted to know was: what are your statistics?
TA: Statistics?
DT: Yes.
TA: Oh! Statistics! Of course. Just a minute, I will have to look for my character sheet.
DT: ...
K: Character sheet?
DT: Of course. That is where his statistics are.
K: ...
TA: Ah, there it is. Okay, so I am a 14th level Dialectical Necromancer. I am only 55,000 experience points from the 15th level - that's only one archdemon, mind you! - so I should get a level raise sometime soon. My strength is 13, dexterity 16 - I am very nimble, I can show you some tricks with my fingers - constitution is 7. Okay, that is a bit measly, but I still have 38 hit points. That is, you can hit my neck four times with a long sword with all your might (not counting the strength bonus, of course) and I will still have enough hit points to survive a magic missile. In any case, my wisdom is 17. It used to be 18, but I got into a rather unhappy encounter with a mind flayer with a bad temper. My intelligence is 18, of course, and charisma is rather high. Or would be, if I didn't look like an ass. 17 it reads in the sheet, but my metamorphosis to an ass drops it to 7. It is better than being a hairy ass, though. Should one look like a hairy animal such as an ass, it would be 3 no doubt.
DT: But, Tobi-Ass, that sounds wonderful! I think we could use a guy like you, with those dialectical necromancy -skills and all. Welcome aboard!
TA: Thank you. I will float around in my ass-form if you don't mind. I am trying to keep my identity a secret.
DT: Sure, that's fine. Right, guys?
K: Of course. I am used to seeing floating asses.
W: Yes, it is fine. Welcome aboard, Sir Tobi-Ass of the Secret Order of Dialectical Necromancers.
TA: Thank you fellows. I am sure our adventure will be a success.

And so we journeyd on, stronger than before due to our suprise reinforcements. The appearance of a powerful Dialectical Necromancer gave me enough courage to take Kant out of the pocket, at least for the time being. The next clause will be something that we will have to tackle later, for its sheer lenght is intimidating. Until then, friends.